Being a good conversationalist
How to Become The Most Interesting Person in the Room
Here is the tip of the day: You become more interesting when you are more interested in someone else. It works. Try it. Have you noticed how much we all like to talk about ourselves? Have you ever watched someone’s face light up when you ask about their children and their latest soccer tournament? You see a colleague in the hallway and you ask about their ski vacation last week. What a beautiful gift you give someone when you give them an opportunity to relive their adventures on the slopes or give them a chance to brag about their children.
Being a good conversationalist is an art and takes some preparation.
For starters, let’s talk about eye contact and being fully present. Let’s say you are in a busy room full of net workers. The room is bustling with activity. There is so much to see and do, and so many people to meet. You are easily distracted. It may be hard to stay focused, but if you want to improve and grow your relationships, pay attention to the person you are speaking to. Make eye contact. This shows you are sincere and you are listening to what they are saying.
Ask questions. Again, this is the real key to becoming a good conversationalist and also becoming more interesting.
A journalist was traveling by plane from Houston to New York. She sat next to a man who was eager to talk. They exchanged names and spoke the entire time about social media, its impact and where it is heading. He was an expert in this field. She was interested, a seasoned conversationalist and genuinely interested in the subject. During the entire flight, they spoke about his expertise. When they landed, he turned to her and said, “Jessica, you are the most fascinating woman I have ever met”. The man sitting next to Jessica never asked her one question other than her name. The entire conversation was focused on him.
Many feel that to be good at conversation they must become better talkers. To be considered interesting and a good conversationalist, you must engage the other person.
Remember we have two ears and one mouth. Use them in this order.
Lisa Richey, recognized as the leader for business etiquette training, is the founder of The American Academy of Etiquette. Her mission is to assist companies to train their staff in becoming more polished, to build confidence and incorporate professional conduct in the workplace. Lisa’s clients include Deloitte, E&Y, Northwestern Mutual and The Plaza in New York.
