Are you interested in making more of an emotional connection with someone? Are you interested in appearing confident and in tune with what is going on in the world? Then eye contact is your answer. According to an article in today’s Wall Street Journal, adults make eye contact with one another 30-60% of the time in an average conversation. If you are interested in more of an emotional connection, your eye contact should be in the range of 60-70%. The ideal glaze lasts 7-10 seconds. Have you had a conversation with someone and noticed their gaze drops down to a cell phone? There are signs out there that are telling us that eye contact is on the decline.
Multitasking on your cell phone is one of the biggest obstacles. It has become almost culturally acceptable to answer a cell phone during dinner or to glance at the latest tweets. The article states that many times the younger generations are concerned about missing out on social opportunities so therefore are constantly checking their cell phone.
Another reason we may be lacking eye contact is that we are accustomed to working remotely instead of in an office with other team members.
Eye contact is a tool to let everyone know you are confident and fully present. Eye contact may be used to influence others. When you are speaking or presenting to others, eye contact conveys respect. The article states that when debating or arguing your point, eye contact can signal that you are standing your ground.
When we don’t make eye contact it speaks volumes. According to Suzanne Bates, author of “Speak Like a CEO,” says that “it is the equivalent of not showing up for half the meeting”. Employees are turned off by this lack of respect. If you attend the meeting, be fully present and give your undivided attention.
The Fading Art of Eye Contact
- The Table Talker: Looks down at his notes when speaking at a meeting. Those attending may think he lacks confidence in what he is saying.
- The Laser Gazer: Stares intently into someone’s eyes. Some may find this creepy. Others may feel he is trying to dominate the conversation or meeting.
- The Drifter: Likely, the reaction is distrust or just not interested.
- The Faker: Texting or sending an email while speaking with someone. This might cause resentment and is rude.
If you are a parent and interested in teaching your child about eye contact, click here. This is the core of confidence and a healthy self-esteem for your little one. You will notice an immediate difference.
To learn more about business etiquette training, click here.
Lisa Richey provides etiquette programs to businesses, schools, and individuals.